Last week was one of those weeks; the kind of week that has you praying for Friday and it’s only Tuesday. My professional persona as the consummate diplomat is cracking. I’m cracking. I have this nagging ache that says I should be doing more – something more.
The spirit of God whets our appetite by giving us a taste of what’s a head. He puts a little of heaven in our hearts so that we’ll never settle for less. 2 Corinthians 5:5 MSG
I am fully aware (yet fully frustrated) that God is stirring the nest (Deuteronomy 32:11). If I know it’s God, then what’s my problem? Quite simply, my demand and His resistance to giving me a copy of the blueprint.
The not-so-revelation came to me while I was getting ready for work. I plugged in my flatiron to do my hair and moved on to do other morning stuff. After I pushed the last kid out of the house, I plopped in front of the mirror, ready to do some magic and realized that my flatiron was cold. It was plugged in, but I didn’t turn it on.
God has a way of taking a small, inconsequential experience and running with it. This was no different.
There have been a few changes at my 9-to-5 gig, creating a sense of uncertainty for many. Having to work with and manage the personalities of scared people in a scared environment has me repenting daily.
Scared people make poor decisions. Scared people behave irrationally and erratically. And these same scared people find themselves in my office at least twice a day. Some- for progressive discipline resulting from those poor decisions. Others are trying to cram five years of professional development training within five weeks. All are reacting to the changes around them. Consequently, my filter tends to “malfunction” between 3:00pm and 4:00pm.
I just want to say, “Girlfriend (or guy-friend), that’s not your problem.” But rarely do I have (or feel) the freedom to tell these scared people what their real problem is or that God is their answer.
Many of us are so preoccupied with improving our 9-to-5 skills when the real deficit is in our 5-to-9. We draft 10-year plans. We create avatars of ourselves. We dress to be esteemed. We insist on being referred to by titles because we earned it. Right? But then the wind blows and our well-crafted presentation begins to crack.
Hear me. Until we realize who we are in Christ, to Christ, we will struggle with our identity, our sense of purpose, and vacillate between this world’s perspectives and values. But I can’t say that in the office.
I work with some incredibly bright people with impressive resumes and pleasant personalities. The wind is blowing in our office, and it’s glaringly apparent that they’re plugged in but they aren’t turned on. They’ve got the right CV, but they’ve placed their hope in men.
Driving to work, minding my own business, that familiar voice says, “What’s the difference between you and your colleagues?”
Me: “Uh- Well, Lord, I’m not scared. I know You’re my source.”
I don’t respond. No need. I have yet to win a debate with God.
God: “I want to reveal you. You’re plugged in, but you’re not turned on.”
The Father was referring to one of my favorite scriptures and repeat prayers:
For [even the whole] creation (all nature) waits expectantly and longs earnestly for God’s sons to be made known [waits for the revealing, the disclosing of their sonship]. Romans 8:19 AMP
The CEB version says, “…creation waits breathless with anticipation…”
To paraphrase, God told me I have responded irrationally (control freak) and erratically (fearful) to His stirring.
Maybe you can relate. I have all these ideas for businesses, books and projects swirling around in my head. Ideas that God gave me. And it’s getting a little cramped in there because I’m not doing much with them. I blame my inactivity on exhaustion, competing priorities, on the children…
The truth is I’m scared. I’m scared of failure. I’m scared of success. I’m scared of the criticism. I’m scared of the uncertainty. I’m scared of the change that will be required. I’m scared of God placing a demand on His gifts to me. Just scared.
And yet, I whine to the Father about being used for His glory; about walking in my purpose. “Reveal me, Lord! Reveal me…”
I cry out to God Most High, to God who fulfills His purpose for me. Psalm 57:2 ESV
God is saying to you and me, “I want to reveal you, but you have to ‘turn on’. You have Me, but you’re still giving ear to the enemy of your soul.”
This is where I’m supposed to offer you 3, 5, or 7 tips on how to move in your purpose. Maybe next year. Today, I’ll encourage you as I encourage myself:
- God is the giver of dreams. If He gave you the dream, He has graced you for the dream.
- There may be resistance to your forward movement, but don’t let the resistance come from you.
- There is no failure in God, but there is a perfecting process. Trust His process.
- Fear and love cannot co-exist. Choose God’s love; it casts out all fear.
- And finally, stop blaming the kids!
YOUR TURN. What is God asking you to do that feels uncomfortable? I would love to hear from you in the comment section.
SCRIPTURES REFERENCED ABOVE
Deuteronomy 32:11 AMP. As an eagle that stirs up her nest, that flutters over her young, He spread abroad His wings and He took them, He bore them on His pinions.